"You'll end up barefoot and pregnant in a trailer park."

Growing up with four siblings was hard enough without throwing a drug addicted father into the mix. I always took the blame for my brothers and sisters, so that they wouldn't get hit. 

As a result, my dad would say things to me like, "You're not good enough," "You're stupid," and "You'll end up barefoot and pregnant in a trailer park." 

I am now 27 years old and have four beautiful girls. I wouldn't change how I grew up because it made me who I am today. 

But you better believe I won't allow anyone to treat me that way, ever again.
 

"You always bring up inside jokes from like, weeks ago."

As a kid, I was always social and funny. I loved life, and I loved laughing about inside jokes with my friends. 

One day in 7th grade, my two best friends sat me down to stage an intervention.

One of them said, "We've been discussing this, and we need to confront you."
I had no idea what was going on.

The other friend said, "You always bring up inside jokes from like, weeks ago. And they're old. You can't do that."

I was shocked and hurt. But I didn't feel like my friends were being ridiculous for banning me from bringing up funny stories from weeks ago. I was twelve and impressionable. So I believed that my tendency to laugh about "old" jokes was "wrong."

I became very conscious and careful about the expiration dates of my jokes. 

Even now as an adult, when I hear people reminisce about stories and experience from weeks, months, even years ago, I think to myself, "Wait, I thought that that wasn't allowed."

"No one is ever going to want you."

Being a size 6, I've never thought I was fat, I just knew I wasn't a size 00, which was fine with me. 

But my ex loved to say things like, "How can you still be hungry?" or, "Do you really need to eat that?" or, "Eat up fatty." I had always laughed it off and convinced myself he was joking.

It wasn't until one night that it really got to me. We were eating out and he refused to let me order dessert. He looked at me and said, "You need to stop with the food. If you keep it up, no one is ever going to want you. I don't date fat girls."

Looking back on it, I'm not sure why I stayed with someone so critical and hateful. Maybe it was the feeling that I needed to be accepted by him to validate my worth. 

It wasn't until months later, after I had worked out and starved myself to exhaustion that I realized he was fighting a battle with himself all along, and that there was never anything wrong with me.

Years later, I'm now with a man who tells me every day how beautiful "every inch of me" is. He's convinced I've never had enough to eat, and he always, always says yes when I want to order dessert.
 

"Well that was...powerful."

I've always loved to sing. Music has always been my greatest passion. It all started when I was 4, singing in pageants and at family get-togethers. 

So naturally when I got to high school, I joined the chorus. I was so excited to learn and to have a whole period dedicated to music! I worked so hard and listened to everything my teacher said. I looked up to her. 

Then one day we were singing a piece that included a solo. I practiced my audition for weeks, and when the day came I stood up in front of the whole class and sang my heart out. I was so proud when I was I done, and I thought I had done so well. 

Then my teacher looked at me and said, "Well that was...powerful." in a judgmental tone that sounded like, "Well you should be embarrassed."

After that I never tried for a solo again.

Looking back, I see now that as much as looked up to that teacher, she wasn't a very nice person. She played favorites and gave her favorite students all the solos and extra attention.

I still practice at home, and my dream will always be to sing professionally, but I can't sing in front of anyone anymore. Even my husband, who is so supportive. And my daughter, who has the same passion for music that I had. I get told all the time that I have a beautiful voice and that I should be famous and I always smile politely and take the compliment. 

But in the back of my mind I will never feel good enough to do anything with my talents because of what one person, who was supposed to be a mentor to me, said.
 

Thunder Thighs

When I was in middle school, a group of boys used to come by my locker and call me Thunder Thighs. This gave me such a complex that I started dieting so hard, and I eventually began to starve myself.

My parents were so busy that they didn't even notice, until one day a neighbor said to them, "She sure looks good now that she's lost all that weight!"

My stepmom actually looked at me and said, "Oh, I never noticed till now." 

I realize now that my extreme weight loss was a call for help. But no one asked me why or how I had lost so much weight. They all just thought I looked good. 

Now, many years later later, I'm Facebook friends with one of the guys who used to make fun of me. I wonder if he remembers what he used to call me. I've never brought it up to him. 

I found out recently that he has cancer, and I do feel bad for him. But his words still haunt me. 
 

"Wow. You're PRETTY."

I have only ever seriously dated one guy, and he has only ever dated me, so I was the first girl he ever brought home.

The first Thanksgiving I spent with his family was about 5 months after we started dating, and it was the first time I was going to meet his extended family. I was fairly nervous, and spent two hours on my hair and make-up. I wore a dress that I had bought three years earlier, but had never worn because I was too self-conscious.

We walked into the kitchen where his aunt was in full whirlwind mode cooking the turkey. My boyfriend got her attention, and she turned around to shake my hand and stopped dead in her tracks to say, "Wow. You're PRETTY."

She said it like it was the biggest surprise of her life. 

Honestly, in the moment, it made me feel amazing. But after reflecting on it, I have never liked her because of that. She didn't think my boyfriend was good enough to have a pretty girlfriend. What the hell does she know.

"Bigger, larger, hairier and uncut."

One day in middle school, I was talking to a goofy guy I kind of liked and another guy who was always sort of mean to everyone. When class was over I said, "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow." My crush replied, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," and then stage whispered to the other guy, "...undressed."

I assume he was trying to be flirty and cute, but before I could really react to his comment, his friend scanned my body from head to toe with his eyes, scoffed, and said, "Yeah. Bigger, larger, hairier and uncut." (A timely reference to the South Park Movie.)

Now, I DO admit that the joke was solid, but those words basically fueled a life-long insecurity when it comes to men finding me attractive. 

I am 30 years old, and getting married in April. Those were the first words that came into my head when I tried on my wedding dress.
 

Nurse.

After I lost my virginity, I contracted my first UTI. I had no idea what was wrong. Being raised Christian, I was convinced God was punishing me for having premarital sex.

I went to my mother in the middle of the night on my hands and knees, crying in pain and fear.

She forced me to pray while reading the Bible and asking God for forgiveness for two hours, while I was still in pain, before taking me to the hospital. 

My mother is a nurse.

"Why can't you be more like her?"

Growing up with a twin sister, I struggled with my identity. My sister was everything I was not, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never measure up to her. 

People constantly compared the two of us. She was always known as the "better" twin. I can recall multiple conversations where my mother would ask me, "Why can't you be more like her?" She would explain to me why others liked my sister more than they liked me, and that if i just tried to be more like her, they would like me too. 

One day I was sitting around a table with my sister and some friends at a church event. Our leader asked us a question, "Who do you think is the best person in here?"

Everyone voted, and my sister won. I went home and cried for hours. Why couldn't I be good enough? Why did everyone see me as less than her? 

That day I decided it was pointless to keep trying, and that I would simply never be good enough. I felt so alone living in her shadow, just hoping one day that I could shine. 

To this day, I still get asked the question "Why can't you be more like her?" 

Comparison is a terrible thing, and that is something I will always have to live with.
 

"Stupid b*tch."

I was riding my bike in the street, and I came to a crosswalk. I waited for the "Walk" signal, and crossed. As I was crossing, a massive truck started turning into the crosswalk at full speed. I tried to simultaneously stop my bike and yell to the driver to stop. The truck was so huge and he didn't see me, and I was very close to being hit. Thankfully at the very last second, the truck driver saw me and slammed the brakes.

I was shaken up and terrified. The driver waved at me in apology.

Then all of a sudden, a random guy walking on the street muttered loudly under his breath, "Stupid b*tch." 

I was shocked. I asked if he was talking to me.

He kept his head down as he passed me, saying, "Stupid f*cking b*tch."

Apparently I am a woman who voluntarily chose to almost get hit by a truck, just for fun. What a b*tchy thing for me to do.