When I started dating my first boyfriend in 11th grade, I had been anorexic for roughly 4 years, and was trying to go into recovery.
In the midst of this, my boyfriend told me one day, “I’m glad you have an eating disorder, you could lose a few pounds.”
5 years later and 4 years into recovery, I still think of his comment any time I step on the scale and think about relapsing.
Growing up, I was always on the bigger side. My grandma would try to "help" motivate me to lose weight by saying, "Boys won't think you're pretty if you're fat."
This started when I was five years old.
I was a sophomore in high school, in the second or third week of my relationship with my boyfriend at the time. Homecoming was just around the corner, and I was really excited about going with him.
But then he suddenly broke up with me and said he wanted to go with one of our classmates because, "She dresses hot."
I'd never thought anything about what I wore until that day. Now I'm extremely self conscious and picky about what I wear.
My ex boyfriend always begged me to have sex. He'd connect sex with everything and guilt me into doing it until I finally just never wanted to have sex at all. One day we were arguing and he told me, "I just don't think you'll ever find a guy willing to deal with how weird you are about sex." I ignored it.
A few months later, I sent him a selfie from my office; I was having a good day so I smiled for the picture and sent it to him. He replied, "Yeah. Those are the lips I want slobbering on my cock."
I'll never forget how utterly disgusted he made me feel.
My boyfriend and I got into a fight one night, and I really thought it was the end for us. Once the heat of the argument settled, I told him that I loved him, even if he didn't love me back. His response?
"The problem is, I do love you. You just suck."
A few years ago, I started dating a guy. He was amazing in the beginning, and we stayed together for about six months.
After a little while, he started to become distant. I eventually managed to get him to confess that he kissed another girl. I gave him the opportunity to explain himself, but we ended up breaking things off.
During our last month together, I suffered a traumatic injury that prevented me from walking correctly, and gave me severe physical PTSD. I couldn't stand to be touched in the slightest, and the sounds of things crashing or hitting made me flinch and become anxious. The want for death to come was an impending thought I couldn't get rid of.
After he and I broke up, we ended up being paired together for projects in two of our classes. Even though his current girlfriend was against him even speaking to me, he slowly began to see my cracks, and eventually I told him about how I had nearly attempted suicide and how there were many times I wanted nothing more than to die. My grades had dropped dramatically, my attitude hardened, and I was almost a completely different person.
After I confided in him, he told me, "I missed you so much. And to even think I almost lost you forever, just hurts too much."
Those words struck me simply because I didn't believe at the time that I had anyone with me who cared. Even him, who stayed in the shadows and watched me get worse and worse.
It was one of the saddest and worst times because I knew deep down, he was the reason I almost died. But he's also the reason I'm still alive.
That's what stuck with me.
I dated a guy in high school for two years. He was manipulative and abusive, but I still stayed.
Towards the end of the relationship I was pushed and guilt tripped into doing things with him I wasn't completely comfortable with. About two weeks after we broke up after a really nasty altercation in the hallway at school, he begged me to come over so we could talk, so I did. He drugged and raped me. I felt all of it, but I couldn't move.
Two days later, he and his mom moved away without a trace. Only a few people knew where he had gone. I stayed quiet about it, but finally broke down to a really close guy friend of mine. I will never forget how he looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Well? Can you blame him? I would, too! I've thought about it a few times myself."
We dated for a few months in high school, and a few years later we attempted to rekindle. He and I met up and talked for hours then later kissed that night.
We never really ended on bad terms, but during our rekindling period, which went on for a few months, we were hanging out by ourselves and I didn't want to do anything with him because I was worried, and told him, "I am scared this is all just going to end after we hook up and that you'll go back to your other ex." He reassured me and said, "That's not going to happen." So we proceeded to keep going that night.
A few weeks later, he is now back with his ex and I just feel broken for not following my gut instinct.
My first serious boyfriend in high school would belittle me any chance he got. He was manipulative and hurtful, and he used me to get what he wanted. He forced me to have my first kiss, and quite a few after that. When I told him I wasn't ready, he told me that I was.
One day, I told him that I'd had enough, and when he threatened to break up with me, I agreed that maybe we should.
He then told me, "The only reason I agreed to a relationship with you was to make you happy, because I hate when people are not happy."
Yeah, because being manipulated and used made me so happy.
I was sexually harassed once by a guy I had been hanging out with. He began asking and forcing me to do these terrible things. When I refused, he said, "Maybe this is why your father left you.
The guy is a well-known musician.
Has anyone ever made a fleeting comment about you that immediately became tattooed onto the front of your brain for all of eternity, impacting your self-perception and self-worth? Whether it was an offhand comment made by someone you love and respect or a fleeting declaration by someone you barely know, we share the moments that stick.
