"When did you become a kicked dog?"

It had gotten late, the family party becoming more rowdy, so I grabbed my sleeping toddler, and my nearly sleeping child. I packed up our stuff, then made my way over to my husband. 

"Kids and I are ready to go whenever you are, babe." 

"We'll go when I'm ready," my husband snapped. He must have seen my disappointment, and he grabbed me for a hug and kissed me, just a peck. 

I turned to see my father behind us, shaking his head. "When did you become a kicked dog?" He asked. "Struck, then crawling back for the smallest ounce of affection."

Since then, every argument, every time I give just to not fight anymore, I see her. The kicked dog standing in the corner, waiting for the kindness that follows.

Gay Lunchbox Brigade

The week before 7th grade, my family and I went back to school shopping. I found this awesome lunchbox with monarch butterflies on the front, and I was so excited to bring it to school. 

Flash forward to the first day of school, lunch period.

As walked to the cafeteria, the most popular girl in school walked by, and sneered at me, saying, "What are you, in the gay lunchbox brigade?"

I went home and begged my mom to get me a plain, black, boring lunchbox. When she said no, I carried my butterfly lunchbox for rest of the school year.

"Maybe I'll just kill myself!"

My family got into a huge fight several weeks back. My mom screamed, "Maybe I'll just kill myself!"

Later that evening, she called me to apologize. She told me she got upset and didn't know how to express herself clearly.

A few nights ago, I lay awake at 2AM, holding my 9 month old daughter close while I cried, just hearing my mom's voice over and over in my head.

Bulldog Face

I gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy, so much that my brother in law made a joke that I had jowls like a bulldog.

"Do you eat one of those EVERY DAY?"

I'd had a bad morning, so I decided to treat myself to a Little Debbie brownie. I don't do this often (I really don't). I was running late, so I took it to school to eat it there. As soon as I opened the wrapper, one of my friends (or so I thought) asked, "Do you eat one of those EVERY DAY?" with a look of disgust. 

I said, "No, only rarely." Then my friend changed the subject and continued talking to another friend. 

You have no idea how awful, fat, and humiliated that made me feel. I still think about it, and I'll probably never forget it. Thanks for that.
 

"I just want you to remember"

For as long as I can remember, my dad and I have been emotionally distant from one another. 

When my first serious boyfriend and I broke up, I couldn't eat or sleep. I was pretty much in the deepest depression I have been in in a while. 

My mom called my dad and told him that she was worried about me because I wasn't eating. 
One day, I picked up the phone and heard this:

"I know you're upset and probably don't want to talk, but I just want you to remember that Daddy loves you." 

I never told my dad that just those few words meant more to me than he will ever know.

"I wish I had been more open..."

My mother and I were sitting on the porch and after bickering all day. I was laughing with some of her friends who had come over. 

She looked straight at me and said, "I wish I had been more open to the option of abortion 15 years ago."

It was my 15th birthday. 

Things My Grandma Says

"It's good that you'll be walking more, maybe you'll lose weight." 

"Don't you wish we looked like those girls? Don't you wish we were skinny like them?" 

"I don't believe you're a size 9, you look bigger." 

"Your dresses are shorter because you've gained weight" 

"Keep dancing, it's good exercise." 

"It's just trying on clothes, why are you making such a big deal about it?" 

And she wonders why I'm so sensitive about my body and what I wear.

"Would you rather date her or me?"

When I was in elementary school, my best friend moved away. Four years later, in fourth grade, she finally moved back. I was overjoyed!

But our friendship wasn't the same as it used to be.  She would always tell me she was prettier, better than me, etc. 

One day at lunch, she went up to every boy in the cafeteria, pointed at me, and said things like, "Would you date her?" and, "Would you rather date her or me?" Every single guy said they would rather date her. 

I was only in fourth grade, and my best friend had just become my very first bully. 

"...if it weren't for your attitude problem."

Junior year of high school I started dating the sweetest, smartest, and most handsome guy I'd ever met. It was heaven. But soon we started fighting a lot and we broke up and got back together a million times.

In April and we were supposed to be married. I got a little bit of cold feet, so he called off our wedding. I was devastated. 

About a month later, he started acting suspicious. He was on his phone a lot, changed his password, and never let me touch it. I saw him texting another girl that he wanted to be with her. He packed all of his stuff up in the middle of the night and left.

Late June he left for basic training for the Army. He messaged me the morning he shipped out, saying, "If you stay faithful while I'm gone, we might get married when I come back. You're my one, if it weren't for your attitude problem."

I waited two months and heard nothing from him. That was a month ago. Now I'm with a really sweet guy who goes out of his way to make sure I know he loves me every single day and that he thinks I'm the most beautiful creature on Earth. We're planning on getting married on Halloween.