"...probably so she could steal from our pockets."

I used to work as a coat checker at a very upscale, very fast-paced restaurant. The coat room was tiny, and it was right next to a swinging door that wait staff was constantly running in and out of. Because the door was so easy to get hit by, and also as a means to protect everyone's items, customers were never allowed in the coat room. 

One night, a drunk customer marched into the coat room to look for her coat. I calmly tried to explain to her that I would find the coat for her, and that she wasn't allowed back there. She was very confused, and she kept persisting, and I kept trying to calmly explain why she had to leave and let me do my job. 

Finally she left the coat room, and once she got to the other side of the curtain, she said to her date, "I tried to find my coat, but she told me to get out for some reason." Her date laughed and said, "Probably so she could steal from our coat pockets a little longer!"

Did they think the curtain was soundproof? I was right there. 

Also, they didn't tip me.

I hated that job.
 

Too Weird For Marriage

Growing up, people told me that I was too weird to ever find a guy who would marry me. I was told that I'd have to find a guy who could "tolerate" me, and that I would have to be the one to propose. 

My art teacher in high school told me that the man I'd wind up marrying would probably be a serial killer.
 

"I'd throw a party the next day."

Last year a guy from school told me to hang myself. I asked him if he'd feel bad if I actually did it, and he said, "No. I'd throw a party the next day."

I told him that if I had been depressed that day and if I were a different person, it would have happened. He said, "It would have been worth it."

People need to be careful about what they say. 
 

"You're getting too big for this!"

When I was 7 or 8, my really tall uncle came to visit. Every time he came over, he would pick me and each one of my siblings up, and we would feel like we were on top of the world.

This time, he tried picking me up and said, "Whoa, you're getting too big for this!"

It was an innocent enough comment, but it was the first time I was ever aware of my size, and that I was too large or heavy to do something, even though I was a perfectly normal size for a 7/8 year old. For some reason, it's always stuck with me. 

I can't help but wonder if his comment somehow sparked or contributed to my ever persistent body insecurities.
 

"I don't know what you expected, wearing that dress."

I went to a family friend's birthday cocktail party with my parents a few years ago. I was wearing a full length, summery black dress, and since it was pretty revealing in the bust, I wore a camisole underneath to cover up as much cleavage as possible. 

While at the party, the family friend's uncle drunkenly sauntered over to me and started making gross comments about how attractive I was. Trying to get rid of him, I started talking about my parents, and he LEERED at me (like, actually leered...it was surreal), saying, "Oh you're HER daughter? You're much more attractive...like your mom is NOT hot," and waggled his eyebrows at me. I was so disgusted, I think I just turned around and left. 

Afterwards, I told my parents about it and how creeped out and uncomfortable I was with the whole situation. My dad then said, "I don't know what you expected, wearing that dress." I was stunned. 

I told him I thought that was pretty unfair since A) I covered up and cannot help my chest size, which is unavoidably, proudly prominent no matter what and B) it would have been perfectly easy for Pervy McPerv to NOT be disgusting, and I am not going to be shamed for my body because some lush forty years my senior can't handle mixing his booze with his boner pills.THAT'S what you have to say to me after HE was totally nasty about Mom?!?! Also I JUST WANTED SOME GODDAMN PUNCH, NOT A REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE MEMORY THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I AM COVERED IN SLIME! 

Well. I said the first part.

My dad never apologized for that comment. I am still furious about it. I don't think he even remembers it.

Ugh.
 

"You're not depressed."

One night last year, after I had been self harming for months, I came out of the shower to find my mum staring at my arms and legs. 

She hit me and shouted, "You're not depressed. You're an attention seeking wee bitch." 

That hurt so much, because I really needed professional help at that point in my life. 

Emotions Are Valid

My ex-boyfriend once called me a "cry baby" for being too worried about school, my family, my appearance, etc. 

The next time I cried in front of him was five months later, when I dumped him.
 

Ugly Cow

I was always very self confident. Up through my childhood and teenage years, I never really worried about my body. I loved myself, and I never quite understood those that didn't.

My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor during my freshman year of college. I said yes, and when the wedding weekend arrived, I was so excited I could barely contain myself. 

It wasn't the fun weekend I had anticipated though, because my friend started screaming and throwing tantrums about every little detail. I started to get frustrated, but I tried to be patient. I kept telling myself that getting married is an emotional time, and as soon as ceremony was over, she would be fine.

The time came for everyone to get dressed. I will never forget her yelling at me, "God, can you put some spandex on or something? That dress makes you look so freaking chubby. And put some concealer on your arms, and maybe some more on your face. It's bad. This is MY wedding and I don't want to look back and have an ugly cow in my pictures!"

I haven't talked to her since that day, and even though its been years, I still struggle with an eating disorder and constant self doubt. I loved her, and she was my best friend. I can't help but think maybe what she told me was right. Maybe I am just an ugly cow.
 

"It wouldn't hurt if you lost a little weight."

When I was a freshman in high school, I dated a boy on the football team. I never really cared about my weight or the way I looked until one day he told me, "It wouldn't hurt if you lost a little weight." 

I lost 40lbs that year, and I still struggle with my weight to this day, as a senior in high school. 

My new boyfriend tries to tell me I'm beautiful the way I am. I want to believe him, but I can't ever see myself as beautiful.
 

"It's not your fault."

It was a few days after my 16th birthday, and I had some birthday money. My mom took me to the mall to get some clothes that I needed, and we stopped at a makeup store to get my acne face wash. After seeing how much it was, I decided that I wasn't in dire need, and that I didn't want to spend the remainder of my money on it.

My mom has had an ongoing addiction to narcotics, and I considered this day to be one of her good days. But something in her changed when I said I didn't want to buy the face wash. She grabbed my hand and forced me out of the store, yelling at me and telling me how ungrateful I was. I told her I wasn't being ungrateful, and she hit me hard in front of everyone. I was left alone, a crumpled mess of embarrassment, while she stormed off.

She yelled that she was going to get the car, so I waited. It took her over a half an hour, so I thought she forgot about me. It turned out, she was so mad and messed up from the narcotics that she ran her car into someone else's car. When I got in the car, she told me that it was my fault that she was so mad and that she hit someone's car.

I called my dad, broken. I didn't know what to say. 

The one thing I will never forget is my dad telling me, "It's not your fault. It was never your fault." 

And to this day, I still believe him. It's never your fault.