My ex-boyfriend, who I dated for almost five years, told me, "You're never going to do anything with your life except flip burgers at some fast food joint."
Now I'm in college, getting my degree in cosmetology. I think about his words every day. They motivate me to do my best in all of my classes.
The day my husband told me he was no longer in love with me, I asked why he had waited so long to admit it.
He said, "Because without me, you'll be alone, and I don't want you to be alone."
Ever since that night, I have made every effort to be okay with just my son and me. But those words still ring in my ears in the middle of the night when I am alone.
My mother once told me that my father who is deceased would be disappointed in the person I've become, because I am transgender.
The summer before 8th grade was very difficult for me. I had started to notice that because of my size, people – boys in particular - treated me very different in comparison to girls who were thin. I spent that entire summer binging on saltines and carrots, which resulted in me making myself throw up.
By the time school resumed, I had lost about 50 pounds. My pant size dropped by 3 sizes and I felt absolutely AMAZING. l felt like I was finally a normal teenage girl.
One day my best friend and I were shopping and I found the cutest pair of shorts. They weren’t my size but I really liked the idea of using them as “goal” shorts.
I gushed to my friend about how perfect they were. She grabbed them out of my hand and looked at the size and said, "Let me try these on. I bet they'll look really good on me, and they won't fit you anyway. They're too small."
Her words rung with condescension, and it was hurtful to hear her say something that I already knew but hoped nobody else thought.
I'm of East Indian/West Indian heritage, and growing up in Canada, I had more body hair than other girls in my class. I was often teased about it and was called hairy, gorilla, nasty and more. I was miserable because I was in middle school and my mother wouldn't let me shave.
In seventh grade, my family went away for Christmas and my parents decided to extend our vacation by a week. The day I returned to school, I was the first one in homeroom, and was surprised that the few classmates who came in after welcomed me back. One guy came in, smiled brightly and said "Good to have you back!" Seriously, I started doubting my sanity and wondering if I had misjudged everyone all along.
Then I heard the same kid out in the hallway by the lockers say, "Hey everyone! Guess what? The Jungle's back!" Everyone laughed like crazy as usual.
I'm now 37 and have married and had kids. But the scars have lasted a lifetime and I still feel ugly and hairy and disgusted with myself, even though I shave and wax. I feel uncomfortable and gross inside my own body. I am withering inside. I know I should just get over it already, but I can't.
When I was about 12, my mom and I were driving to a school event, and I told her I was scared and nervous.
I will never forget her turning around and saying, "You have too many problems. You're always complaining or crying. It would have been easier to have had another boy than you."
At that time I had bad depression and anxiety that she did not know about, and that still makes me upset to this day.
When I was five years old, I was sitting in my kindergarten classroom with a group of friends during coloring time. I remember we were discussing things like boyfriends, girlfriends and marriage - you know, the usual.
I must have made a comment in regards to myself growing up and getting married, since I assumed everyone got married when they reached a certain age. The little boy sitting next to me stopped dead in his tracks, looked me in the eyes and said, “But nobody will ever want to marry you because...you’re black.”
I went home that night and must have been pretty upset because the next day my mom met with my teacher and the parent of the little boy who had made the comment.
He was made to apologize and of course life carried on. And even though now, 20 years later, I know people have said many things a thousand times more hurtful to me, that particular moment has always stuck with me.
When I was 13, my mom died of AIDS in my arms.
When I went to console my crying aunt - even though I was torn apart myself - my aunt looked at me and said, "It should've been you."
I will never forget how I felt. I will never forget those words.
From an early age, I've struggled with self harm and mutilation.
One day when I was swimming, I ran into a guy who I hadn't seen in ten years. The last time he saw me, I wore shorts a lot. I had not started mutilating and my legs were "normal."
When I ran into him, I was wearing a bathing suit, which revealed that my legs now have more scars than skin.
He looked at me and said, "You've fucking destroyed yourself."
I will never forget that sentence for as long as I live.
All my life, I knew that I didn't have the same religious beliefs my family had, but they never made it an issue.
Then one day in history class we were talking about different religions. When it came time to talk about atheism, I spoke up and shared my experience.
My teacher got mad and told me, "If you don't believe in God, you're not going to get anywhere in life."
It really hurt. I left school and stayed home for the rest of the week.
Has anyone ever made a fleeting comment about you that immediately became tattooed onto the front of your brain for all of eternity, impacting your self-perception and self-worth? Whether it was an offhand comment made by someone you love and respect or a fleeting declaration by someone you barely know, we share the moments that stick.
